Depression, Acceptance and Coping

I know that there are a million blog posts out there that talk about supporting people dealing with mental illness, but I feel that one more won’t hurt the cause to raise awareness one bit.

I was reflecting today while trying to crochet some granny squares for a project I am working on. I stopped and looked around my home. I saw crumbs, toys strewn about, my children’s shoes scattered here and there, and I thought to myself, “Queen, you have got to pull yourself together. You are better than this. You have no excuse to just sit here when there are other things that need to be done. Why can’t you be better at prioritizing?” Then I suddenly felt terrible, I lost focus on my project, and I fell asleep. As expected, when I awoke, the feeling did not dissipate. I didn’t have any more energy than I had before I fell asleep. This only added to my guilt. The internal bashing of myself continued… “Your children deserve a better mother. Your husband deserves a better wife than this. You need to do more. Other mothers have it together and they have worse conditions than you. You weren’t raised like this. What is stopping you from doing the simplest of things?” Fortunately, I was able to ignore those thoughts and push them to the back of my mind for the moment and I thought about all the things that I am trying to accomplish and cut myself some slack. You see, it can be hard when you see all the things on television and the people around you who SEEM to have it all together and you think that you should be able to do what they can do. You don’t want to be left behind. You don’t want people to judge you for not being as successful. Being a parent, doesn’t make this any easier. Here is my advice, and I am sure that it is not new advice or a cure all to the problem, but hopefully, it will give you some solace knowing that you are not alone and there are people out here that are fighting the battle of depression too. You are not alone. You are not obligated to heal and find success in life at the same rate as anyone else. Your feelings are valid and anyone that tries to tell you that you shouldn’t feel the way you do because there are other people in the world that have it harder… simply don’t get it. It is okay to get help. I think that getting some therapy and having an unbiased ear to listen to your problems especially if you are feeling like you aren’t being heard at home or on your job or just in general… it helps. Holding everything in is not going to help your situation at all. It’s okay to cry! You ever heard the saying that crying is like taking your soul to the laundromat? Well, in my humble opinion, I believe that it is true. We take in a whole lot of info each day. Every conversation, every television show or movie, every song that we play over and over… the messages get into us and imagine the message that it sends! Go to therapy or get someone in your life that you can get all of that out! Heck grab a journal and write! I have heard people that shame their family members who need help and have gotten it for reaching out. If you find yourself in the same situation and can’t seem to get your loved one to understand why you are going outside of the home for help with your issues, don’t fret. Continue getting the help that you need. It is worth the investment. If you don’t take care of yourself, you won’t have the energy to care for anyone else. It is okay to take care of yourself. These issues should not be a taboo subject anymore. I think that the more we speak about the struggles we have on a day to day basis, the more that we will come to accept ourselves and our abilities to cope with our different circumstances. Everyone is different. Don’t feel bad for being different. Don’t feel bad for getting help. Just know that you will be okay and try to stay strong through it all! YOU’VE GOT THIS! YOU ARE UNIQUE AND AWESOME AND LOVED! Believe and receive it!

With love,

Q